Vallee’s View: Patriots Bounce Back in the Bayou

By Michael Vallee
 
Sometimes it takes the results of a game to see the obvious.  Or at least the results of the first quarter.  Entering Sunday’s game in New Orleans, Patriots fans were predictably on edge.  It was just 10 days ago that they watched their team get humiliated at home in front of a national television audience.  It was the type of loss that triggers immediate concerns about everything from personnel and injuries to the inevitable mortality of their seemingly ageless quarterback.  Compounding the problem was the wait.  The long tedious wait that accompanies all the losing teams of any Thursday night game.  Just enough time for Patriots fans to analyze, over-analyze and re-analyze what happened.  Even worse, enough time to not only contemplate the next game, but start to formulate a half-decent argument that the New England Patriots might actually lose to the New Orleans Saints.  
 
Then the game happens.
 
Faster than you could say “Tony Romo is sooooo much better than Phil Simms”, New England raced to a 20-3 lead, eventually coasting to an easy, and suddenly quite predictable, 36-20 victory.  It was one of those results that instantly made you feel stupid.  Did we actually entertain the possibility that Bill Belichick’s Patriots were going to fall to 0-2 and lose to a Saints team that is perpetually adrift in mediocrity?  Shame on all of us for ever doubting.
 
This was your classic New England Patriot bounce back game.  Belichick specializes in tearing his teams down by constantly reminding them that they’re not as good as they might think they are – a task made increasingly more difficult when your team accumulates more rings than Tiffanys.  But give Belichick an ugly loss to work with, and it is all the ammunition he needs to knock his team down a few dozen pegs and get them refocused.  
 
Since 2003, Brady and Belichick have lost 11 games by two touchdowns or more.  In the games that immediately followed those losses the New England Patriots are 10-1, with the only defeat being a one-point loss to the Dolphins in 2009.  Hell, Belichick even went 3-0 with Matt Cassel following losses of two touchdowns or more.  But don’t be fooled by that last sentence, these bounce backs are just as much a Brady show as a Belichick show.  The kale eating, night-shade hating, excessively pliable franchise quarterback has been nothing short of spectacular following blowout losses.  In those 10 wins since ‘03, Brady has thrown 24 touchdowns and just three interceptions, posting a QB rating of 115.  
 
I guess the TB12 method is just as effective with your back against the wall.  Maybe even more so.  Though I have a suspicion that Brady’s near-perfect performance Sunday, and in all these rebound games, is less about avoiding tomatoes and getting to bed early and more about a competitive fire that is nothing short of maniacal.  Guys like Brady despise losing at things like checkers and *ping pong so you can only imagine how they feel about getting publicly humiliated at their chosen profession.  It is only natural that such a loss triggers some kind of hyper-focus in the Bradys and Belichicks of the world.  
 
It’s also worth noting the Patriots don’t just bounce back following big losses, they bounce back with a vengeance, winning by an average of just under 17 points.  Sunday’s win over New Orleans was not the exception to the rule, it was the rule.  The Patriots bounce back, and bounce back big time.  It’s what they do.  
 
We shouldn’t have needed the final score Sunday to know that.
 
Game Notes
 
-Brady was nothing short of masterful on Sunday:
Poised under pressure…
Active in the pocket…
Accurate…
Decisive…
Anticipating throws like the 53-yard TD to Gronk which was pure schoolyard stuff…
 
Brady was near perfect in the first quarter, completing 11 of 14 passes for 177 yards and three touchdowns.  He did most of the damage without even utilizing his wideouts, completing his first nine passes to running backs and tight ends.  Brady finished the game with a QB rating of 139.6.  It was an absolute clinic.
 
-Baffling Stat of the Day:  The 20 points scored in the first quarter was the most ever by a Brady led offense.  That is mind-blowing.  I would have thought he did that at least a dozen other times.
 
-Defenseless:  To be fair this wasn’t much of a test for Brady.  If you’ll recall this was the same defense that allowed Sam “noodle-arm” Bradford to complete 27 of 32 passes week 1.  Brady would have faced more resistance if he played against Boston College.  Things get a lot tougher going forward with Houston and Carolina on the horizon.
 
-M*A*S*H:  And Brady could be without multiple weapons in the coming weeks as that mysterious blue medical tent had more bodies coming and going than a clown car.  Julian Edelman, Malcolm Mitchell, and Danny Amendola might soon be joined on the injury report by Gronk, Burkhead, Hogan and Dorsett.  Uh, what exactly is left after that?  Is Welker available?  Moss still looks like he’s in shape.  Any chance Stallworth is done with his probation and free to travel the country?  Now more than ever they have to give Dion Lewis a shot at slot receiver.  The underrated RB has touched the ball a meager seven times the first two weeks.  It’s time to find a way to get the ball in his hands.
 
-No Home Cooking:  It’s still early, but it’s hard not to be down on Brandin Cooks.  On Sunday he was facing his old team, in a dome and by game’s end was literally the only healthy receiver on the team yet managed a mere two catches against arguably the worst secondary in the NFL.  Romo expressed his own doubt during the broadcast openly questioning how good Cooks could be if Brees and the Saints were willing to let him go.  If he doesn’t pick it up soon this is going to start looking like one of the more costly mistakes of the Belichick era.
 
-Analyze This:  As good as Brady was Sunday the quarterback that received the most positive reviews from the Patriots game was Tony Romo.  Romo has been nothing short of a revelation.  He’s enthusiastic, sharp, opinionated and might have as strong a working knowledge of the current NFL as any analyst.  He has not only displayed an uncanny knack for anticipating what’s coming but on Sunday even went so far as to try and read Belichick’s mind.  
 
Now let’s be honest, as good as he has been, Romo has been helped by the “Small Shoes Affect”, in other words, no human being anywhere on earth in any profession started a new job this year with smaller shoes to fill than Tony Romo.  If Romo just sat there and stared at the wall he would have been an upgrade from the lazy, clueless and remarkably untalented Phil Simms.  Someday the guy that replaces Marvin Lewis will know exactly what I’m talking about.  For 15 years (holy sh*t was it that long) Simms sat next to Jim Nantz as the lead NFL analyst on CBS and brought nothing of value to the broadcast except unintentional comedy.  The length of his tenure remains one of the great mysteries of our time, but it is clear that Romo is benefiting from that tenure and the collective disdain the football watching public had for Simms.
 
Romo isn’t perfect.  Somebody has to tell him that he is not required to comment on everything that occurs during the game.  His energy level is commendable but sometimes it’s OK to just let the game breathe.  He also missed badly when comparing the 2017 Patriots offense to their 2001 counterparts simply because McDaniels ran a few plays with a fullback.  On balance though he has had as strong a start to a broadcasting career as I can remember.  Now we just need to pray that Dak Prescott doesn’t get hurt and Romo doesn’t get the itch to return to the field, otherwise we might again be stuck with Simms fumbling and flatulating his way through another broadcast.
-Master Class:  How many coaches in the NFL would have their team prepared enough to run the field goal unit on the field, get set up and successfully execute a field goal without committing a penalty, in under 16 seconds?  Moments like that are why Belichick has spent more on boat paint than anyone on Nantucket.
 
-Not quite the ‘85 Bears but…:  I thought the defense had an underrated game on Sunday.  If you throw out the garbage time touchdown, they held a Drew Brees led offense to 13 points in a dome.  Not bad.  When Brees did manage big plays it often required a perfect throw into tight coverage.  Aside from Patrick Chung, who struggled in coverage, I thought the secondary was solid and the pass rush got a needed boost from rookie DE Deatrich Wise.  They also got a sneaky good game out of undrafted corner Jonathan Jones, who broke up multiple passes.  Could it be that Belichick has found the next Malcolm Butler?
 
-Beginning of the end?:  Speaking of Butler, this bizarre cold war between him and Belichick continued Sunday when Butler was benched in favor of Eric Rowe.  I’m lost.  How exactly did Butler go from Super Bowl hero and rock solid starter to the Belichick doghouse in 6 months?  This can’t all just be about a shaky game week 1.  Did Butler cut Bill in the buffet line?  During last year’s Super Bowl celebration was Bill’s favorite band, Bon Jovi, blaring on the radio only to be turned off by Butler, who then shouted, “That band sucks”?  What?  WHAT???  Maybe it is all about football but it feels more petty and personal.  There was a time when I thought Butler was going to get a long-term deal, now I’m wondering if he gets dumped at the trade deadline, a la Jamie Collins.
 
-No TB12 diet here:  If Butler is in the doghouse, Alan Branch is buried 6-feet under it.  Branch not only didn’t start Sunday, he played a miniscule six snaps on defense.  This decision was 100% a football decision.  Branch was atrocious last week, a fact that had to particularly irritate Belichick considering he just gave Branch a new contract.  Let me give you my highly sophisticated deep dive analysis on what is currently behind Branch’s struggles: he is a fat load.  Branch looks like he has packed on several pounds in all the wrong places.  Apparently he signed his new contract then immediately purchased an all-you-can-eat lifetime pass to KFC.  Whether he has gained weight, or I’m just seeing things (large things), either way Branch’s play is a troubling early development.
 
-The definition of insanity…:  When does New Orleans move on from the Drew Brees/Sean Payton era?  Payton is like a band that had one really good album and has been cranking out garbage ever since.  Yeah the post-Katrina Super Bowl title was special but it was also eight years ago.  Since then the Saints have won just two playoff games, failed to make it past the division round and have posted four losing seasons.  Their defense is perennially one of the worst in the NFL and currently sits at dead last.  If this continues the Saints should cut the cord with Payton, trade Brees to a contender and shift full-speed into rebuild mode.   
 
-Barely legal:  Can the NFL once-and-for-all end the pick play.  It’s hard enough for defenses to stop the modern NFL passing game without having receivers blocking defensive backs that are just trying to do their job.  Chris Hogan scored Sunday on a legal pick play that was originally flagged as pass interference, until Tom Brady calmly explained to the officials that they were mistaken, and the flag was immediately picked up.  Microphones on the field were able to pick up the conversation:
 
Referee:  Tom we got you guys for pass interference
 
Brady:  No way.  I’m Tom Brady.  I got five Super Bowl rings and four Super Bowl MVPs, plus look at me.  And have you ever seen my wife?  I’m the man.  So, do you think you might want to reconsider that call?
 
Referee:  There was no penalty on the play
 
-Brady’s cultish manifesto book the TB12 Method comes out Tuesday, giving everyone the opportunity to eat and train like him.  All you need is a massive food budget, a private chef and a lifestyle that allows you to go to bed at 7:00pm.  Thanks, but I’ll pass.  I value bacon and whiskey more than I value pliability.
 
-Zero Dark Thirty:  Common wisdom was that the Patriots broke the Falcons in last year’s Super Bowl……like permanently broke the entire franchise.  But Dan Quinn had other ideas, and he set out to fix his team from the mental devastation of blowing the biggest opportunity of their football lives in front of 100+ million people.  One of those ideas was for the Falcons to train with the Navy Seals in the offseason which Matt Ryan recently credited in an interview for making the team mentally tougher.  Fresh off a beatdown of the Green Bay Packers the Falcons are 2-0 and travel to Foxboro week 7.

-Celebrating diversity one bad sideline report at a time:  I didn’t get a chance to address that Sergio Dipp thing that happened to the internet last week.  What I find most fascinating is that I still have no idea what the hell that was.  Did he choke?  Lose a bet?  Is he just a fool?  I still have no idea.  It was like somebody melded a sideline report with a hostage video.  All his incoherent babble about diversity made it seem as if he was not a human, but rather a politically correct internet bot created by ESPN (would you put it past them) to spew safe, happy, and extremely awkward platitudes.  Whatever happened it is clear Sergio was not “HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE”, last Monday.  Unfortunately for Sergio he went from sympathetic underdog to annoying tool when he posted a response to all the internet fervor where he at one point invoked 9/11 – not the date, but the national tragedy that killed thousands of people and sent our nation to war.  Alright Sergio, I think we’ve heard enough out of you, time to go back to ESPN Deportes and let the grownups handle the football stuff.