(Image courtesy of Matt Slocum/AP)
By Michael Vallee
-Deja Vu All Over Again: Like no other sport, football is about the game within the game. Every week coaches scour through hours of game film studying every detail of their opponent trying to locate any trend or tendency to give their own team an edge. It is this process that is at the heart of the weekly chess match that plays out on NFL sidelines during every game. And while sometimes a game can be determined by one small but crucial detail (see Pete Carroll/Malcolm Butler/Super Bowl) other times the scope that determines the outcome is more broad. Yes, Bill Belichick and Mike Tomlin undoubtedly went through the same tedious process crafting last week’s game plans, as they have all year, but Sunday’s AFC Championship was most likely not going to be determined by the minutia of each team and instead would be settled by the results of one very clear and simple question: Would the resurgent Steelers defense finally have an answer for the Tom Brady riddle that has confounded them for so many years?
After four quarters of football on Sunday the answer to that question was a resounding “no”, as the Patriots waltzed into their ninth Super Bowl with a surprisingly easy 36-17 rout, fueled by a monster three touchdown, 384-yard performance by Brady.
What the New England quarterback has done to the Steelers in his career has been nothing short of awesome. Unless you are a Pittsburgh fan. Then I imagine you might have a different adjective to describe the dominance Brady has imposed on this AFC rival. And he has been particularly rough on Tomlin coached Steeler teams. If Brady and the Patriots were a law enforcement agency their treatment of Tomlin’s Steelers would be classified as both cruel and unusual. In seven games versus Tomlin, Brady is 6-1, throwing 22 touchdowns, 0 interceptions and posting a gaudy 127.4 QB rating. If Brady was playing flag football in a rec league he would struggle to match those numbers.
And don’t think Pittsburgh hasn’t noticed. It is probably safe to conclude that figuring out a way to slow down Brady is nothing short of an obsession in the halls of Steeler headquarters – an all-consuming motivator that drives virtually all of their decisions from coaching and personnel to practice schedules and drills. At this point Brady owns more real estate in their heads than Donald Trump. What do you think the under/over is for the number of Brady-inspired nightmares Tomlin has had in his career? Not metaphorical nightmares, but actual freaked out, short of breath, wake-up-in-a-panic nightmares.
Sunday, however, was supposed to be different. The Steelers rode into Foxboro on a nine-game winning streak, in part bolstered by a defense that looked like it was finally hitting its stride. Strengthened by a number of high draft picks, Pittsburgh improved dramatically on D in the second half of the season, allowing just 16.5 ppg and generating 18 turnovers during their win streak. It was statistically the best defense they’ve had in four years. Finally, there was room for a little hope on that side of the ball. But as Red from Shawshank Redemption once warned, “Hope is a dangerous thing.”
It didn’t take Brady long to crush that hope on Sunday.
TB 12 came out firing, completing his first four passes for 62 yards. It looked like New England was headed for an easy score until a pass bounced off the hands of Malcolm Mitchell on 3rd and 1, and they had to settle for a field goal. After a three-and-out, Brady went back to work, going 6 for 6 on the next drive, culminating in a 16-yard touchdown to a wide open Chris Hogan. Brady was dialed-in. And, per usual, Pittsburgh had no answers. The Steelers secondary looked more confused than Kim Kardashian at a Constitutional law symposium. A point driven home on the next series when Chris Hogan ran unfettered through the Steelers defense for his second consecutive easy touchdown.
The carnage would continue in the second half as Brady led the offense to scores on their first three possessions of the 3rd quarter, staking the Patriots to an insurmountable 33-9 lead. In less than three quarters, Brady had already thrown for over 350 yards. After the first few plays of the game I bet Brady couldn’t help but laugh to himself when he noticed that Pittsburgh was rolling with the same soft zone that he has spent a career shredding. No new twists, no new wrinkles, after all the hype and all the hope, it was just the same old sorry-ass Steelers.
And the same old results.
New England was off to another Super Bowl and Pittsburgh’s D was left to ponder another whupping at the hands of Tom Brady. And perhaps ponder the future of their head coach. Tomlin offered his team nothing on Sunday. Where were the deception and the creativity? Where were the stunts and disguised blitzes I know it’s hard to fool Brady at this stage of his career but it looked like the Steelers didn’t even try. At the very least you have to make Brady uncomfortable if you want to have a prayer of slowing him down. Did you see Pittsburgh deploy any of those up the middle pass rushes that Houston had so much success with just a week earlier? It’s almost as if Tomlin doesn’t watch game film. If you walked into his film room would there be just a broken VCR with “12:00” blinking on the front panel?
When Tomlin was hired he was touted as the next great thing. A young guy with Chuck Noll-like potential. A title validated by an early Super Bowl championship. But there is more to coaching than just standing on the sideline and looking perpetually intense. These days he looks less like Chuck Noll and more like Dan Campbell, i.e. a coach who thinks speeches and pep talks are more important than game plans and strategy. I’m sure his job is safe for now, but a few more ugly playoff exits like this and his best shot at employment might be the corporate lecture circuit, where people get paid large sums of money to give rousing speeches that are long on style and short on substance.
Tomlin would feel right at home.
Sort of like how Brady feels every time he plays Pittsburgh.
-Valentine’s Day: If there was a subplot to the AFC Championship it was whether or not the Patriots #1 ranked, but untested defense would be able to slow down the dangerous Steelers offense. At first look the results were mixed at best. Throughout the first half the Patriots D contained the Steelers on the scoreboard but allowed 184 yards, and the Steelers were knocking on the door late in the 2nd quarter. Following a crucial replay that nullified a Pittsburgh touchdown, the Steelers had the ball first and goal from the one-foot line. A touchdown looked like a foregone conclusion. Then came one of the biggest plays of the game, and from the unlikeliest of sources.
After a first down run stuff, Pittsburgh was facing a second and goal from the two, when sparsely used rookie DT Vincent Valentine shot into the backfield and tackled Steelers RB DeAngelo Williams for a three-yard loss. It was just his 13th tackle of the year but it forced Pittsburgh to throw on third down and eventually settle for a field goal. The Steelers would never recover. The play seemed to completely take the wind out of Pittsburgh’s sails; they committed two turnovers and scored zero points on their next five drives.
-The Butler Did It: While Brady is the Patriots offensive MVP for 2016, Malcolm Butler has to be the defensive MVP, and Sunday he might have played his best game of the year. Drawing the short straw, Butler was called upon to cover the NFL’s most productive receiver, Antonio Brown, and limited the Steelers All-Pro to a very quiet 77 yards receiving.
-Master Class: An perfect illustration of Brady’s mastery and Tomlin’s neglect came late in the 1st quarter. Brady came to the line of scrimmage, surveyed the defense, then proceeded to yell, “Jordan, Jordan,” audibling from an eye to a spread formation, took the snap and then calmly hit Chris Hogan for a 26-yard gain. The response from the Steelers secondary was to point fingers and bark at each other about missed assignments. It’s almost as if Brady knew the Steelers scheme better than some of their own players.
Pittsburgh’s laughably ineffective approach on defense was really driven home in an article on Fox Sports where Steelers defenders actually expressed surprised that New England attacked them with such an up-tempo offense. Steelers linebacker Bud Dupree said, “The first drive hit us by surprise. They came out firing and that caught us off guard.” You mean the Tom Brady Patriots actually came out throwing the ball?? In a playoff game??? And ran the no-huddle???? Oh the madness! How could Pittsburgh have possibly predicted that wild turn of events?!
-Alright, let’s get the Simms stuff out of the way:
-Simms called Patriots DT Malcolm Brown “Jamal Brown”. Jamal Brown was an OT, never played for New England and retired four years ago.
-After the Patriots first touchdown Simms made some rambling nonsensical point about how Brady had, “six and seven seconds,” to throw the ball in practice on Friday, because that is totally relevant to how much time he would have in the actual game.
-When Jim Nance suggested that Pittsburgh might go for a two-point conversion if they score, Simms quickly rejected the idea explaining that it would be a poor decision because the Patriots had just stuffed the Steelers on a running play. The Steelers attempted 21 two-point conversions the last two seasons and passed the ball on all 21 of them.
With Fox as the network broadcasting Super Bowl LI this concludes our annual tradition of bashing the perennially awful Phil Simms. Now just pray CBS comes to their senses and finally puts this embarrassment out to pasture.
-Running on Empty: An injured Le’Veon Bell standing on the sideline looked an awful lot like LaDainian Tomlinson circa 2007. Not to completely dismiss the impact the Bell injury had on the game but can you remember a single time in the entire 17-year Belichick tenure that an elite running back ran all over the Patriots in a big game? It just never happens.
-In Sunday’s game it took the much-hyped Steelers offense 49 plays before that had a gain of 20+ yards.
-On Championship Sunday former Penn State lacrosse player Chris Hogan had the exact same stat line as Atlanta’s All-World super freak, Julio Jones: 9 catches / 180 yards / 2 touchdowns
-Against All Odds: Do you get the impression that fans/analysts/writers wish they paid a little more attention to Atlanta during the season; maybe went out of their way to watch a few more Falcons games? It was so easy to dismiss them as a typical soft, inconsequential early exit playoff team, and then suddenly you blink, and they are in the Super Bowl and have the likely NFL MVP. In the offseason the Falcon’s Super Bowl odds bottomed out at 100-1.
-After listening to the entire sports media ball-wash Aaron Rodgers for the last month I bet Patriots fans took some pleasure in watching Rodgers lose the NFC Championship and get thoroughly outplayed by Boston College alum Matt Ryan. Rodgers is obviously a monster talent and probably has more raw quarterback ability than Brady, but lately it’s as if everyone was willing to completely ignore any of his flaws and just heap praise on the Packers QB. Sure he has looked unstoppable recently but what was he doing when the Packers lost five of six and got slaughtered in back-to-back weeks by the Titans and Redskins? And where was he when his team blew a 16-0 second half lead in the 2014 NFC Title game and almost blew a 21-3 lead in Super Bowl XLV? And wasn’t he the same guy that went one-and-done with a 15-1 team in the 2011 playoffs when he got his ass kicked 37-20 at Lambeau Field?
The point here is that playing quarterback is a lot like playing golf – it’s not the flashes of brilliance that make the resume but sustained excellence over a long period of time. Yeah, the pass to Cook against the Cowboys was special but if you want to leap-frog Rodgers over Brady, talk to me when the Conference Championship gap is a little closer than 11-3.
-PSI = Person Seeking Income: The Colts firing of buffoon hardo Ryan Grigson certainly set off an interesting wave of reactions around the league. Whether it was his own players like punter Pat McAfee celebrating on Twitter, “Unwarranted arrogance just ran into a brick wall called karma”, or NFL writers speculating on the possible return of Peyton Manning, there was no shortage of opinions on Grigson being shown the door. But perhaps the most interesting reaction came courtesy of Patriots president Jonathan Kraft who said, “(Deflategate) game might have been Ryan Grigson’s pinnacle.” I have a feeling Kraft said that with a big smile on his face.
-Roger That: When Brady was asked during his weekly radio hit with WEEI’s ‘Kirk & Callahan’ what he thought about Goodell saying a second goodbye to the historic Georgia Dome and not attending the AFC Championship, Brady responded with a very interesting choice of words, “He’s the commissioner so obviously whatever he wants to do, he can do.” Hmmm, whether consciously or unconsciously it sure sounds like Brady might have had a certain air-pressure related scandal in mind when he answered that question.
-So Does He get a Super Bowl Ring: You gotta love a fan base that goes the extra mile for their team. Reportedly, early Sunday morning, on a dare, East Boston resident Dennis Harrison drove with a friend to the Logan Airport Hilton and pulled the fire alarm. Why is this relevant? Because it just so happened that was the same hotel where the Steelers were staying, and this stunt was done with the sole purpose of disrupting the Pittsburgh players’ sleep the night before the big game. When caught on hotel property a drunk Dennis Harrison was a little more succinct in his explanation to police as to why he pulled the alarm, “I’m drunk. I’m stupid. I’m a Pats fan.” Priceless.
-Eh, I Got Your Moving Truck Right Here: Speaking of committed fans, lifelong San Diego Chargers fan and moving company executive Ryan Charles has launched a movement to, at the least, make the Chargers move to Los Angeles more difficult. Charles has started a website titled, ‘WeWon’tMoveYouChargers.com’ which is a place where local moving companies can sign up to declare that they will not be offering the Chargers their services for the move to their new home in Los Angeles. It’s like a petition with a little bite. Reportedly, 27 San Diego moving companies have already signed on and another 17 from the L.A. area have joined the cause. Tremendous. I love seeing a bunch of hard working small business owners band together against some billionaire douchebag that has no problem ripping a sports team from their home of 56 years because a bunch of middle class taxpayers had the gall to tell this rich jerk that maybe he should fund his own f**king stadium.
Yeah, I get it, some communities deserve to lose their professional sports teams. St. Louis has twice shown that they are, and always will be, a baseball and college football town. Oakland is a lousy sports city (and lousy city in general) that can’t even sell out a playoff baseball game, so if the Raiders want to move for a second time, I understand. And I still have no idea why there was ever an NHL team in Atlanta. But to stick it to a city like San Diego, which has only one other pro sports team, so you can cram two teams into a phony sports town like L.A., where they value botox and fake breasts more than football, is ridiculous. I wish nothing but the worst to San Diego owner Alex Spanos and godspeed to every moving company that boycotts that lout.